Folly or Feasible?

In theory, going from not being active at all and living on chocolate and caffeine to working out five days a week and eating less ought to result in weight loss, right?

Wrong.

There are more calories going out than going in, what’s going in is good quality stuff in the right proportions, and I’m drinking water out the wazoo, yet the scale will. not. budge.

I refer to this as the Mexican Standoff.

My body’s been through these well-intentioned beginnings before. Why should it believe it’s for real this time? We’ve got to preserve those fat cells, you know, making sure they’re available to plump and swell on cue with the next chocolate infusion. As for the exercise, the muscles may have stopped protesting but they have yet to start believing.

So the scale holds firm in that four pound range it’s claimed as home base, as comfortable there as am I in my XXL sweatpants. And each time there’s no downward motion, the body hopes the mind will give up, give in and give it more chocolate.

Not happening. The mind seems determined to win this go-round, holding firm to the schedule regardless of the scale holding fast. I’ll take all the help I can get in the battle.

Desperate for something clean to wear, I grabbed a pair of jeans that I knew wouldn’t be comfortable but could, at least, be worn in public. I was thrilled when I buttoned them and they fit — right out of the dryer! Not after a second wearing, not after several deep knee bends, not after a big deep inhale.

Only to discover the zipper was stuck.
Down.
I can wear them yet I can’t?
Dammit.

I didn’t have time right then, but as god is my witness, I was wearing those pants. A little zipper-fiddling later, they were buttoned, zipped and comfy enough to wear on a long road trip. When I arrived at my destination, several cups of coffee and quarts of water later, I had to go. Bad.

Only to discover the zipper was stuck.
Up.

Desperation move . . . I yanked the pants over my hips still zipped, and damned if they didn’t go down. And back up again as well.

Pants — 1.
Scale — 0.