Folly or Feasible?

When I have a run like today, when my muscles don’t want to cooperate, when it’s hard-as-hell to keep putting one foot in front of the other, when I barely make it a mile and half without stopping, I remind myself …

… that four months ago I was still “on the couch” (which, unlike being on the wagon, is not a desirable thing) and the thought of running to the mailbox — much (much MUCH) less a half-marathon — wasn’t something I’d even consider.

… that three months ago running 60 seconds was agony, that doing it 8 times, even with walk breaks, seemed impossible, and that I never really thought I’d make it past Week Two. But I did do it, each and every week on schedule, and that I didn’t quit and I did make it past Week Two.

… that two months ago it was still very much something I did, grimly and with much internal dialogue convincing me to “just go and get it over with”, as opposed to something I found any enjoyment or gratification or success in at all, and that even the pride of having run 20 minutes was overshadowed by how damn hard it was each and every time. But that in only one month I had gone from gasping and struggling with 60 seconds to being able to run twenty minutes straight, something previously unfathomable.

… that one month ago I was dealing with a cold-turned-bronchitis and the worsening of my ongoing knee issue. But that I graduated C25K by doing a 10K and actually ran most of it; that I hated having to miss runs due to being sick; and that I wasn’t just hoping to finish the half-marathon, I was setting time goals for myself.

… that one week ago I was finally able to start running regularly again and I hadn’t, as I’d feared, regressed to Week 1 but could still run for 30 minutes.

… and that today, when it was hard-as-hell, was the fourth day in a row that I’ve run. That I went out there because I wanted to. That everyone has bad runs.  And most especially that I have come a long way, baby, and one tough day no longer has the power to send me into a tailspin.

Tomorrow is another day. And a day of rest, at that.